Can you just hold me for a minute

Carter has started doing the sweetest thing lately. When we are dropping her off at the church nursery, having a babysitter at our house, taking her to the pre-school she has been attending etc.; she sometimes gets a little anxious. I can see the look in her eyes and it's written all over her face, she is slightly uncomfortable and at times visibly doing her best not to cry...she's a brave little girl. So, the sweet thing is that she will, in a very convincing shaky voice, look at Nate or I and say, "Could you just hold me for a minute?" If you start trying to explain to her that you will be back soon, or she shouldn't be afraid she'll interrupt with, "But, do you just think you could hold me for just a minute?" It melts my heart every time. It's her little way of delaying the inevitable, even if it is just for a minute. Today I understood her motive on a whole new level. As Nate got ready to head through security, to board the plane that would take him half a world away, I found myself wishing he could hold us for just another minute. Carter was visibly sad today, something she hasn't really been in the past. She went as far as to ask if she could just give her daddy one more big hug and one more big kiss after he had said his final goodbye. We passed her through the security area and her sweet daddy granted her request. That along with some "magic beans" (jelly beans to be exact) seemed to brighten her spirits. The beans worked their a little bit of their magic on me too. It's amazing how sharing a sugary snack with you 2 year old can make the world seem a little brighter. I'd be lying if I said I didn't shed a few tears today, but God has already been faithful to answer one of my prayers. I've been asking Him fervently for perspective. In the past when Nate leaves it sometimes feels somewhat devastating...at least for a few days and then perspective kicks in. I had been praying that perspective would arrive much sooner this time. Thank you God for being faithful. He is bringing peace to my heart and the ability to feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for this wonderful life that I have. Even through my tears as we left the air terminal today I felt prompted to just list outloud all the wonderful things that I am thankful for, and there are so many. This is a good exercise when you are feeling the threat of caving in emotionally...it reminds you of all you are blessed with and you quickly find yourself forgetting why you were so sad in the first place. I was also encouraged by my husband. Have I mentioned how great he is? We have gotten in the habit of exchanging a card each time he leaves. The first time he was gone on detachment I think I read and re-read the card he gave me at least 100 times. They are always heartfelt, encouraging and uplifting. His words and his love make me feel like I can move mountains. One of the things that he said today really stuck with me and I think it's given me a new perspective (there's that P word again). In his card he thanked me for being supportive of the job that he does. He went as far as to say that it completes him as a man and that he loves doing what he is passionate about. That was powerful to me. I've seen him in arenas where he was professionally unsatisfied and it wasn't pretty. I am so thankful that he is satisfied in this way. The sacrifice is worth it. The man I love is more than worth it. God never promised everyday would be easy. He just promises He will be there. The tough times are as much a part of our story as the joyful ones. In good times and in bad this is OUR story...I'm so glad I get to be a part of it.

*Here are a few photos and moments before Nate left...

Nate and Carter bonded over bathtime at an early age. He has been bathing and getting her ready for bed ever since she was a baby (his sweet way of giving me a little break at the end of the day). She loves it when he makes a "little hat" for her out of a towel...I know she'll be missing her hat's for the next couple of months. I'll do my best!

Nate and little C hanging out at the air terminal before he left! A couple of matching grins!

I think she kept hoping if she was a big help with his bag she might get to go too! We would have both hid in his suitcase if we could have figured out how! We love you Nate!

P.S. Kenny and Molly you are lifesavers. Thank you a million times for a delicious dinner. Nothing like pizza and ice cream to get your mind off of things. Kenny thanks for being so sweet to Carter, it makes my heart happy. I'm stealing your line Molly...ya'll make us feel like we have family in Oak Harbor, we love you.