It only gets better from here...

Gosh, this hurts. There are so many reasons why I am thankful for Nate "choosing" the path he did. One being that our time spent apart is usually limited to a few months as opposed to the 6, 8 or more that many military families face. He is never gone that long, but consequently is gone more often. So, as you can imagine, that is good and bad. Good because when he leaves he is home sooner...bad because I feel like I have a wound that never heals. Saying goodbye and living without him for these months is painful. It hurts more initially and then begins to lessen as time goes on and his return grows closer. By the time we are reunited I feel like my "boo boo" is now covered with a giant hello kitty sized band aid. It's cute, it's fun, things are once again "normal" and I sort of forget about the pain. And then out of no where (and much to soon for my liking) life comes and rips that band aid right off, the wound is still there, and did I mention is hurts...like a lot. He is gone, then he's home, and then he's gone and it's like this constant hurt that just get's a little better and then a lot worse again. I know over the next few weeks and months I'll begin to heal again...I'm becoming an old pro and am pretty familar with the drill. But, today it is fresh, today it is as painful as ever, today is always the hardest day because it is the first...it only gets better from here. So I'll keep that in mind. I'll give my self permission to have a good cry while Carter naps on the couch. I thank God that He goes with Nate and the fear I feel is not from Him. For the promise that someday in the not so distant future my heart will heal...this particular pain will be over. But, I think there will always be a little scar to mark this time, this season when my heart felt pain in such a real way. Being in love is tough stuff, but, I highly recommend it, the good out weighs the bad any day of the week.