Monday, September 29, 2008

Time in a Bottle

I was perusing my parents computer tonight looking for a photo when I ran across this one...

I can't pinpoint in my mind exactly when it was taken. I have my "favorite" photos that I have practically memorized and this photo hadn't been "filed" away in my mind. For some reason when I run across one I can't remember seeing the contrast hits me like a ton of bricks. To most people Carter probably still looks very much like she does in this photo, to me she looks like my little baby. And if you spent everyday playing, talking and chasing after her mile long legs you would know our little chick is no longer a baby. So, no real reason for this post...just a range of what I'm assuming are very typical "motherly" emotions. On the one hand I could not be more proud of the little lady whose cheerful chatter fills my days...and on the other I just wish I could freeze time or at least store it in a pretty little glass bottle. I would tuck it away safely and pour at the littlest drop when I needed to cuddle or just smell that sweet baby smell. I think I would be sure and add a little bit of the way I'm feeling at this very moment into the bottle as well. It would be just what the doctor ordered on those days when I'm snappy, tired and giving her less than my very best. The perfect reminder that time is too short to look back with regrets.

I love you sweet Carter...and as badly as my fingers want to type the words you'll always be my baby...I know deep down in my heart you were created to grow up. I just want you to know that I am profoundly changed by having you as my baby. I think what it all boils down to is the realization that in the beautiful story of your life a chapter is ending. I say that with an equal amount of sadness and pride. You are beautiful. And in so many ways your journey has just begun...I'll love you every step of the way...mom.

4 comments:

Lynnette said...

Beth, hope you all had a great visit while down here. The pictures of Donna's visit all look so cool, literally! We leave for New England, to see the fall foliage, in about 9 hours and can't wait. Except I heard there is a hurrican heading that way too. Oh well, I'll stay out of its way.
Have a safe trip home. Love, Lynnette

B E T H said...

OOHHH...that sounds so fun! I bet it's going to be gorgeous! I would love to see photos! I'm so glad we got to see you (at least for a few minutes) while we were here! Do avoid the hurricane...those suckers are NO fun! Love you!

sam said...

Beth, I know how you feel. Jared often laughs at my desire to keep them young (as he says, "in a bubble"). Carter is so sweet and I'm so blessed to see your family grow as our family grows!love, sam

P.S. Your new header is really cute!

Mindi said...

This post makes me cry because even though Hudson is only 5 months now, it's been the fastest five months of my life and I know it doesn't slow down any!!!

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