Life Happens

I've been feeling it for a while now. Stressed sort of doesn't do it justice. When I sit down and think about what a contradiction my situation is I can actually find the amusement. A little more than three years ago the birth of Carter symbolized the birth of something else in my life. It all started with her birth announcements to be exact. Forever in search a "good deal" I decided I could probably whip something pretty cute up myself. I did. And not only were they cute I had a lot of fun doing them. From there it has sort of just been a natural progression...I realized at some point other people would actually pay me money to do these kinds of things for them. As a stay-at-home mom, who some days barely got out of her sweats, there was something pretty fun about that. It was also pretty fun to get paid for being creative. But, lately it's not so fun anymore. No one thing is to blame except maybe myself. I just know that over the past few years as life has happened the stress I sometimes put on myself has not made me a better wife or a better mom. This whole thing sort of started because of our beautiful little girl and it pains me that at times it has been the reason I wasn't "available" to her. This is all amplified greatly by the fact that Nate's been gone a lot lately. I mean at least when he's here I can put things off until he's home to pick up the slack, but right now that just isn't possible. We had a real heart to heart this afternoon and the outcome is this. Two giant steps back. Right now I have to let this go. I'm not sure for how long but I know that the weight it took off my shoulders feels really good. I have a dream for this whole thing...but I think that dream will just have to wait. I'm pulling the plug on my website (it was pretty "homemade" to begin with), and my hope is that someday in the not so distant future .com will be back and better than ever. I'm going to let my creativity be just that for a while. I'm sure I'll enjoy doing a few things here and there for friends and family...but by in large I'll be saying No. That's not always easy for me, but as the saying goes practice makes perfect. I know this news isn't anything earth shattering...it's just sort of big in my little world. For those of you have been supportive with your words and your money I am more than thankful and love you for it. For those of you that were going to let me do your Christmas Cards for you this year I'm sorry, but I also know there are a billion and one other cute options out there and you will find something fabulous! I'm sure most of you are aware of that and were just being sweet to "hire" me, that means a lot. So, someday when the time is right maybe I'll have that sweet little shop on the corner of some fun little town that we wind up in....my website will be rockin'...my babies will be in school...my creativity will once again make me a little money...but, as far as I'm concerned all that can wait. I'm doing my best to be my best today, and tomorrow, and the next day...hopefully this step will just be something that helps me achieve that goal. I just need to take some time to enjoy the little things in my life, I know this is a season that I will never get back...