And then you were three.

Dear Emerson,

Yesterday you turned three.  I know, I know I'm a day late but before you go getting a second child complex let me explain.  I fully intended to write you yesterday but we were just a little busy throwing a tea party fit for a princess...

I'll have all the lovely details soon because it really was a day to remember.  But right now, in the hopes that the grown up version of you (which I can only imagine is beautiful and graceful and perfect in the way that mother's always think their children are perfect) will someday sit down and read this I have a few things I want to tell you.

I was thinking about you this morning when I woke up.  I was remembering the beginning of you, and by that I mean when you were just a thought in my mind.  Carter was almost three when I had a little crisis of sorts.  She was potty trained and well behaved and she played alone and entertained herself and I started to wonder if it might be nice to just enjoy the simplicity of one.  Simply put I considered the possibility of an "only child".  I'd be lying if I said the concept didn't have it's perks.  It was uncomplicated and dare I say even easy at times.  I remembered what it was like to have time to myself and then I did something that I wouldn't recommend...I got scared.  Scared s#*@less in fact.  I became certain that not only did having one child seem like a decent prospect I was certain I couldn't handle two.  I was convinced that mothering one child was right up my alley and that two would send me into a land of chaos and oblivion.  I'd be a mess.  I'd be stressed.  I'd lose all sense of who I was.  It sounds silly right?  I'm sure all the supermoms with 4 plus kids and their ducks in a row would get a good laugh if they read this.  But it's true, and I'm not sure I've really ever fully admitted it to anyone but now you know.  

So here's the thing.  In spite of all that ridiculous fear I'm a logical person.  As I weighed all these things out I realized I couldn't do it.  I couldn't risk missing out (because I hate missing out) on all the amazing things that might come with adding to our family.  And you know what really got me?  This little thing in my heart that said, "Carter might have a sister...".  Sisters are a certain kind of magic that you could never bottle up.  And it was so odd because as much as I had wrestled with the decision once I knew how badly I wanted you it was all consuming.  I didn't want to wait another day much less nine months.  But wait I did because you didn't come easily and when you were finally a reality I almost couldn't believe it...

And you know what Emme?  Whatever was left of that stupid fear thing was gone the moment I met you...

Oh my gosh I just loved you so much...

And I think the thing I am really trying to tell you is that maybe someday you will feel afraid of something...maybe (just maybe) it will have you practically paralyzed with the thought of, "There's no way in h-e-double hockey sticks I can do this."  But do it anyway.  It's so worth is baby girl...

Have I told you lately that I love you?

I know the year ahead is a crazy one.  Three is the year of leaving babyhood behind.  I'm not quite ready but I know from experience that won't stop time...

You are like a ball of sunshine and how lucky am I to be your Mama?  God gave me you...

He knew I needed a good laugh everyday just to stay sane...

Oh and that sister thing...it really is magic...

Happy Birthday sweet girl.  I love you with all my heart...

XOXO Mom

Lately...

...we've been coming down from the Christmas high.  Trading lazy mornings filled with leotards and makeup...

For more routine ones.  Sleeping late...

and playing outside (bubbles required)...

Have been replaced with routine.  We're playing catch up with reality.  Speaking of catch up I can't believe I forgot to share one of the highlights of Carter's Christmas break.  A little thing we like to call horse camp (I was jealous)...

She and her best bud Jaden had two solid days of horses...

I can still remember saving my pennies and dollars as a kid hoping one day I'd buy a horse...

On their last day a couple of good looking cowboys showed up to check out their progress :)

It was awesome...

So after a break filled with fun and more fun it's a little hard to get re-motivated for school and responsibility.  We've been doing our best to energize our bodies and minds with a recent new hobby juicing...

I was skeptical at first.  I mean I really didn't think that my girls would eat a glass full of spinach juice among other things.  But guess what...

They think it's delicious!!  Bottoms up...

And speaking of juice...my mama is documenting her amazing juicing journey as she whips herself into the best shape of her life!  Follow along by clicking HERE...I'm so proud of you mom!  Or should I say twin :)

Lately we've been staying busy.  I tagged along with Kim for a bridal show and we pimped out her booth Pinterest style...

It was pretty sweet if I do say so myself (and I just did)...

It's a busy January for Nate at work but we're doing our best to stay connected.  He had "reserve weekend" so we met him for lunch.  Sometimes it the little things...

We're making the most of our time with him any chance we get (Emerson on another lunch date with Daddy before he left town again)...

Because of course I couldn't be more appreciative for how hard he works...

But sometimes it's hard because life just isn't the same when he's not around.  I mean don't get me wrong the night life with these chicks is a riot...

But I think I sometimes wonder how much they feel his absence.  So I do my best to keep things rolling along in a happy fashion.  This week that meant a little girls night out...

Chik Fil A style...

I am always impressed with Chik Fil A.  They do it up right...

We had a great time and Emerson told me as she fell asleep, "We had a lot of fun tonight Mommy."  I love them...

Lately life is good and I've been reminded that if you open your eyes beauty is all around you...

Like staring you smack dab in the face as you load up from a quick run into Trader Joes...

You go God...

Our New Year is off to a lovely start...

And after a bath...

We're off to catch some zzzzz's (lately I seem to snap pics of them snoozing all over the place)...

Happy Wednesday!

In With the New

I'm not a huge "New Year Resolution" kind of gal.  But as we kick off 2013 I do find myself setting a few goals.  The main one is a reoccurring theme and it may sound simple but it's anything but.  

With each new year, or new chance to find reasons for improvement, I always find myself thinking I'd love to be a better mom.  It's not surprising that this rises to the top of my list because it is the thing that I currently spend most...ok make that all of my time doing.  I love these little girls...

There's no doubt about that.  But sometimes I fail them miserably.  I lose my temper, I run fresh out of patience, I look at the glass half empty.  I'm grateful that most of our days are sunny or at least partly cloudy but there is the occasional gray day or once in a blue moon the hurricane that threatens to do a number on our happy little home.  It's taken me a while to realize that the "mood" in our home is usually directly connected to your's truly.  Gee...that's a lot of pressure.  

So it comes as no surprise that I'm hoping to improve this year.  To be a little better, love a little harder, dig deep for a few more ounces of patience when I find myself running out.  Oh, and while I'm at it, I'll throw in being a better wife too.  Unfortunately when Mama ain't happy ain't nobody more likely to hear about it than Nate.  He handles my craziness like a champ but I'd still love to find ways to love him better too.

So to you...yes you Nate, Carter and Emerson.  You are my people and I not only hope that this year you see the best version of me yet I hope that this year we as a family are stronger, kinder and lovelier than the last.  I'm thinking that if the four of us stick together there's no telling what we can accomplish (ringing in the New Year at our second annual New Year family night out)...

I love y'all.  You're my favorite people on the planet...

Let's do 2013 up right!  XOXO 

Happy Happy

Happy Birthday Clint!  You're my favorite brother...

AND Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!  Y'all were so cool I can't stand it!  I mean you still are but wow!  Y'all were lookin' good back in the day...

Love y'all!!