Conquering

My girls are almost exactly four and a half years apart. It is not necessarily a time line that I envisioned and certainly not the one I "planned" for. I assumed we would have our children much closer together (and by much I mean a good two years or so). But right around that magical "two year mark" when most mommy's of one get the baby bug I didn't get bitten. I was loving life with my munchkin' and was in no hurry to add an "s" to the word. Maybe it had to do with the fact that much of our time together was spent just the two of us. You see for some very large chunks of years 2, 3, and 4 in Carter's life her daddy was "traveling". If you've been reading this blog for that long I'm sure you remember little adventures like THIS...or days like THIS...or meltdowns like THIS. Truth be told I think I had about all I could handle in the form of a sweet little blond and a husband who wasn't around nearly as much as we might like.

But then I woke up one day (or maybe it was a little more gradual than that) and realized I wanted another baby. I wanted Carter to have a sibling. I wanted to add to our cozy little threesome and branch out in the direction of family. I hadn't just been bitten by the baby bug I had been BITTEN. I wanted a bump and wasn't feeling particularly patient. Interesting thing though...I didn't get pregnant. So I did what any Type A, overly analytical first born would...I worried. I spent hours wondering what might be wrong with me, with Nate, and envisioning life without the wee thing I so desperately now wanted. Fascinating how one can go from perfectly content to completely dis-satisfied practically overnight.

And then one day when I least expected it (because isn't that how it always works) there it was...2 pink lines. Funny as I look back on it and realize that those little lines represented the vivacious addition to our family that we are all now so Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs over. All that time I spent worrying was in vain (of course it always is) because she is the perfect fit for our family and the timing...well, that was pretty perfect to. I can't tell you how many times I have thought over the last 11 months how absolutely ideal this is. My two sweet girls who get along beautifully, light up over each other like no one else in the world, and have yet to have a cross moment (except when Carter goes all "mommy" on Emerson). While I'm certain they will have their moments of discord I think their age difference is currently working in our favor.

I've noticed that there is very little if any competing between the two. They are both busy conquering things in their own little worlds. For instance the other day at the playground. Carter has been working for weeks at mastering the monkey bars (or rings in this case)...

She is determined to make it across...

and lately has been getting pretty darn close...

Emerson is happy to watch in awe...

which gives Carter a certain amount of satisfaction and the props she craves...

She is conquering...

(With a little help from her dad)...

Meanwhile, Emme is conquering her own mountain...

aka the slide...

She spends most of her time seeing just how far up it she can get...

We all watch and cheer and her big sister is her biggest fan...

She's conquering...

I realize these scenarios may not last a lifetime and that there is bound to be competition between the two. But for now I feel grateful for the age gap that I thought I never wanted. It has made the past 11 months some of the most enjoyable moments of my life.

It has also afforded me the opportunity to spend some sweet quality time with each of my girls. While Carter is at school Emme and I have "our time". Each morning after we walk Carter to her classroom I give Emme a big kiss on the cheek and whisper, "It's just you and me!" And Carter, well she and I escape the baby zone every once and a while and head our for a little "her time".

We actually managed to squeeze in a little date this past Sunday. We held hands and got hot chocolate at Starbucks. We took a walk through the toy store and made mental notes of a few of her favorite things. We waved to Santa (and told him we'd be back soon with our little sister). We saw Tangled...

And LOVED it. We chatted, and shared a coke, and I remembered what it was like for all those months when it was "just the two of us". And while there is NO part of me that would ever wish myself back there (we much prefer life with a daddy who spends most of his time at home and a sweet baby sister) I can look back on those days with love. I think she and I will always share a special bond from having endured Nate's absences together. I love her to the moon and back for helping me get through them.

In closing (because I feel like there should be one) I'm not exactly sure where all this came from. Maybe it's all the cheesy Hallmark movies I've been watching that have me slightly emotional and reflective. But I think what I've really been trying to say is I'm so very glad I'm not in control. That my life is not built on "what I think is best" or "the plan I had in mind". It's so much better. Lesson learned.