Letting my mind go...

I think one thing I am finding as I travel this road of a military spouse is there is no formula for success. The first time Nathan left me I searched high and low, I read books, asked questions, sought advice, looked for answers. And while there are plenty of people out there who will tell you just how to handle having your husband away I have come back to the very basic realization that we are all unique. No one person is like the other and that means we all have our own ways of dealing with these moments in our life. Each time I have spent apart from the man I love with my whole heart has been unique. Different circumstances, different emotions, different life lessons. I've learned things about myself. Learned how to cope, how to deal, how to hold my breath and hope he returns before I run out of air. I am realizing that, be it good or bad, I "handle" my situation by choosing to not think about it or dwell on it at all. Healthy or not, the jury's still out. On the one hand it allows me to operate and maintain a fairly normal existence; on the other I'm a little out of touch with exactly where I'm at emotionally. So, I give myself these little moments to feel. And, as I sit here letting myself do just that I wonder if that is entirely healthy either. Too bad they haven't been able to bust out with a Military Separation for Dummies yet, I could really put that one to good use.

I love being in love. I'm a romantic deep down to my core. I adore the leading man in my life and his endless optimism and his calming presence. How I miss the way our days spent at home seem to hit their high note the minute he walks through the door with his contagious grin. I think what my heart can't seem to overlook during these seasons of separation is the absence of his presence in our lives. The computer screen just can't do my guy justice. I have long ago lost count of the times Nate has said to me, "I would do anything to make you happy." I feel that from him. Every decision he makes, the words that he speaks, the things that he does...they all shout one thing loud and clear...HE LOVES ME. He loves me so well. And just in case it isn't overwhelmingly obvious my heart is his and his alone...he is my dream come true. So this, I'm sure, will hopefully just be one of the many chapters in our love story of life. One of those things we look back on, like the paper route we did when we first got married, and say, "We made it through that, we can make it through anything." This love we share will outlast the moments that challenge us along the way. I'm so glad we're in it til' death do us part...those wedding vows we made can be pretty comforting.

Thanks for choosing me babe to walk beside you and to share the journey. This is the good part.