Comfort and Joy

This Christmas was hard. It was full of joy, and smiles, and love, fun, and memories and family...and in spite of it all it was impossible to overlook the fact that the love of my life was not here.

The goal was simple, enjoy it, make the most of it, make things special for Carter...and I'm hopeful that I succeeded. But, that did not change the fact that Nate was not here. I didn't think about it much really, I couldn't. On a day when there aren't many people who are not sitting with the ones they love my sweet husband chatted with us via web cam from what can best be described as the food court in the mall. Pretty cozy huh? I'm not looking for sympathy. Really. His job and the choice he has made make him incredibly happy. This was just one of those day's when it didn't exactly feel worth it. I couldn't help the overwhelmingly selfish desire that kept creeping in...I very much wanted him home.

The last two years have been a lot like a marathon...a long race and there is beginning to be a slight glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel. We are 2/3 of the way done with this time of separations. We have grown, we have endured, we will finish the race. I cannot begin to understand what others face in the various paths of military life. I only know that for me the constant pace of home again, gone again, home again, gone again has been a challenge. I am tired. I am tired of feeling like every time my husband comes home we are on a vacation. Knowing that in a few short months (or sometimes weeks) he will be gone again. I love what being a family, a day in day out sort of family, looks like. I sometimes wish for that. Sticking with the whole race analogy, I can only imagine that this is the part where some people feel like giving up...the end is in sight, but it's not exactly right around the corner. In the same way I'm sure once it is over you're not exactly all gung ho about signing up for the next one. I guess what I'm trying to say is I think the way I feel right now is pretty normal. I started this period of time fresh, motivated, charged...I'm not exactly in the same place right now, but I figure that is to be expected. The nice thing is, he'll be home soon. And, even though it's only for a little while...I will take it! Nothing brings me more comfort and joy than having my best friend here to share in the everyday.

So, in honor of his absence, we would like to do our best to share all he missed. Is Christmas with kids magical or what? Carter could you BE any more amazing? I love you little girl...thanks for bringing the cheer.

Dear Daddy~I sure do wish you could have been here for Christmas! Just a little while ago I looked at mom and said, "I wish daddy was here!" I wanted to tell you all about the fun things that we did, it was so great! First mom and I made Christmas cookies for Santa...

They sure were delicious...

And they were pretty too!

Then, I didn't want the reindeer to feel left out, so I made them some food too...

And guess what? It was just as tasty...

Abby even liked it!



We went out and sprinkled it on the front lawn...

Then we put out the cookies and milk for Santa...

And guess what!? While I was asleep, he CAME!!

Mom took these videos of me for you to see. I had to wake up Uncle Clint on my way to see if Santa came, I was SO excited and I really liked my stocking!

I can't wait to take lot's of pictures on my new camera...

And guess what!? Santa got me the doll I really wanted, and it's perfect because she is "sick" and I can use all the Doctor stuff you got me to make her well! So great huh!?

She is so cute, I just love being her mommy...

And guess what! That's not all! When I realized there were even more presents I got so excited I couldn't help bouncing up and down and clapping my hands!

Don't I look CUTE in my new robe!?

We all missed you A LOT...everyone say's to tell you HI!!!

Aunti Kimmi and Uncle John...

Uncle Clint...

And Roxi and Pops! And guess what else!? After we finished presents and some pretty great pancakes Roxi, Pops and Mommy took me to see The Tale of Despereaux, and Pops got me whatever I wanted from the concession stand...

As you can see, this made me very happy!

What a cute little mouse, and such a gentleman (I'm talking about Despereaux, not Pops, although he is a gentleman and he's cute too)...

After the movie we had dinner and then it was time for one of my favorite parts of the day! We all gathered around and sang Happy Birthday to Jesus, and Mommy let me blow out his candle for him!

It was a wonderful day, daddy, but, I missed you with all my little heart. I hope we never have to spend another Christmas without each other! I'm so glad you're coming home soon, hurry ok!? I love you! XOXO Carter

P.S. Mom thought these would make you laugh...