Beyond Chicken Fried Steak

Tomorrow's the day. Nate is headed out...it's time to fly and hopefully the time will fly. We had a great weekend together. We celebrated Father's Day (one of the nice things about the military is you learn to celebrate holiday's whenever you can). Carter and I had surprised him (he really was surprised) with a pair of Oakley Sunglasses he has tried on every time he's had the chance for the last couple of months. We knew he wanted them for this detachment and were so glad we got to gift him with them. We also got him a couple of new video games to keep him busy on the trip over. I think giving really is more fun than receiving.

Carter also mangaged to figure out how to operate my digital camera. Here are a few of the pic's she has taken of Nate and I.

We have all just been enjoying being together. Nate played photographer for these...if the photo had sound affects you would here us saying EEEEEEE:


I thought several times about how badly I wished I could just say "freeze" and have time stop. I'm thankful that Nate has encouragingly told me I've done a great job of living in the moment by not feeling sad or dwelling on the fact that he is leaving, something I've been working on. I realized I've developed a coping mechanism. I have things that I continue to look forward to getting to do with him. As long as there is something still left to do I don't feel the need to get sad. For instance....today while Carter is at a class for two hours he and I will get to spend time hanging out at Starbucks, we'll all have a nice lunch together and maybe spend the afternoon at the park. I have one of his favorites planned for dinner (chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes, a big Texas Yum!) Needless to say today still holds plenty to enjoy. Unfortunately I can't find much to look forward to beyond chicken fried steak. That's probably when my tears will kick in. I think what gets me every time is hating that Carter won't have her daddy around for awhile. She loves him so much...he just makes her face light up.

What is coming is not unfamilar to me. The raw emotion of knowing you won't hold the hand of your best friend for quite some time. There is more to it than that, but words sometimes can't convey what we feel in our hearts. Even through my tears I am reassured by a loving God that "This too shall pass." He has proven that to me in the separations we have already faced and overcome. I was also encouraged by a devotion posted by Beth Moore on the Living Proof Ministries Blog. I am choosing not to worry. I am choosing to trust God. I will selfishly relish the fact that in my moments of weakness I am drawn closer to Him. I will be thankful that my inability to do this on my own causes me to walk hand in hand with my Heavenly Father. I will trust that He will be there. I will trust that He will bring joy to my heart. I will trust that in the abscence of my husband, who is a blessing straight from God, He will be all I need.