Lately I'm Fallin' for you...

Dear Fall,  

I'm officially fallin' for ya'.  Sure I could get all caught up in the idea of you producing a little more "fallish" temperatures but then we would have to give up lovely evenings with our pool so I'm not complaining...

Warmer temps also mean this sign rings true for bedtime :)

Lately we've been enjoying any moment that involves this adorable little person who is growing up SO fast and smiles and tries to roll over and pretty soon he'll be going to college...

Lately I've had lots of comic relief in the form of clowns...

Funny faces...

And Emme's very first drawing of our family (LOVE)...

And then there was the one time June got covered in a thousand sticker burrs and had to get shaved, she doesn't look like this anymore...

Lately Emerson has been being Emerson...

Doing Fashion...

Making messes...

And cutting her hair...

Yep little crazy person found the scissors and did a number on her bangs...

All I can do is laugh...

Lately we've done some celebrating as in the big 35 with this cool guy...

I hit the jackpot...

Lately we're taking advantage of days off from school by making doughnut runs...

And jumping the day away at pump it up...

Our resident roadster had her annual bike rodeo...

I remember once upon a time when I worried she would never master two wheels...I was wrong...

Lately life has been full of happy random moments like Sangria in the sink...

Sunny girls snuggling in pajamas...

Breakfast...

And lunch dates with my favorite fairy...

Chalk art that has never been more true...If Carter loves Emme loves Mom loves Dad=Family...

Lately I'm loving little moments like this one where Emme gave Carter a run for her money in a card game...

And Carter read Emme a story before bed...

And Emme learned that T was for Tractor, R was for Roxi and O was for Old Lady (she made that one up on her own) :)

Lately life is kind of like a good book you can't put down...

Happy fall!

At the end of the day...

It's been one of those days.  You know the kind where you reach the end and there is something to be desired.  Let's just be real honest parenting is hard work.  I like to think of it as a marathon and though I've never run one I can imagine that certain miles are harder than others.  I realize if marathon is the metaphor then maybe a day is really more like a second in the grand scheme of life...but even a second can be difficult right? 

We are going on week 5 of Nate traveling for his job.  WEEK 5.  Stick a fork in me I am done.  Not just done...well done.  And I'm just being totally honest I hate days like today.  I hate days when it's finally "over" and by over I mean my darling daughters are sleeping soundly in their beds and I feel like I survived.  I hate that feeling.  And I know what you're thinking...it's ok to have days like that...and I know it's true...but that doesn't mean I have to like it.  In fact I like to believe it's just fine for me to hate it.  I don't want them to remember me as a short fused, frazzled, crazy lady and that's certainly not a bad thing.  It's also deeper than just wanting my kids to "like" me...I could take or leave that (although I certainly hope at the end of their childhood I'm one of their favorite people:).  No it's not about liking, it's about doing my best by them and today they got less than that which is what is disappointing.  

But let's look at the glass as half full for a moment (just to make lying my head down tonight a little easier).  Let's suppose that maybe on the days when we fail our children we are teaching them something as well...let's suppose we are showing them about a little thing called grace...

Why is so hard to admit that we all fall short?  I get that it's not necessarily something to be proud of or advertised.  I mean I don't see t-shirts with "I sucked today" taking the fashion world by storm.  But the truth of the matter is we all have our moments.  We all need grace in hefty doses.  We all need to cut each other a little slack every now and then...

  
I hope one day in a land far away and a time I cannot quite imagine my grown daughters will look back and know I loved them, and yes I failed them, and I hope that if I teach them anything it will be to look to the one who doesn't disappoint when I do...

Because while I would love more than anything to never fail them, never let them down, never disappoint them...I do.  And so on days like this when I fall short I hope that maybe I'm teaching them something after all...to look to the one who never will.  To turn to Jesus who created them to love.  To love playing, and painting, and singing, and dancing.  To love their friends, and me, and their kick a*% dad.  But more than anything to love Him.  It took me so long to begin to get that and so maybe I can help them to see the real truth in our failures is this...

Even Mama ain't perfect kiddos.  Truth.  But I'll do better tomorrow...or at least I'll do my best.  There's another little something I hope I can teach you.  There is beauty in doing the best you can when circumstances that are less than ideal swirl around you.  And I hope that someday when you are having grace for your dear old mom and forgiving me for falling short somewhere deep down your heart will speak up and whisper, "she did her best."  And maybe someday when you have babies of your own (I'm going there even though the thought of you growing up is not ok with me no siree bob) you'll be standing there with a baby on your hip and spit up in your hair and bacon burning and somebody will yell "WIPE ME!!" and the dog will pee on the floor and another kid will be painting a Picasso on your freshly painted walls and...well...you get my drift...and in that moment you'll do your best.  And the ocean of grace will continue and you'll wake up the next day like I will tomorrow being so thankful that this has never been more true...

Great is His faithfulness...and I couldn't love you more.

Girls

I don't remember ever specifically imagining myself with girls.  I didn't grow up thinking about what I would name my future daughters.  I always loved the idea of being a mom but I wasn't stuck on who I would mother.  

That being said I think God must have known somewhere deep inside two little girls would be a sweet gift for me.  I love their company, their friendship and for lack of a better word their girliness.  It's serious fun.  We were asked to volunteer to let a high school photography class snap a few pictures recently and I felt like it was an excuse to celebrate the fancy people they are...

We got hot and sweaty and at some point Emme was really over it but I just love them.  I love their fancy little dresses and their bows and their endless chatter.  Thank heaven for little girls. :)

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words :)

Those who can't seem to find time to blog post pics (you're familiar with that saying right?!)...

And then there was this one time my mom and I went to visit Kim on at her new day job and they put us on TV...

Good thing we didn't look awkward :)

Fall and school starting and adjusting to going, going, and Nate being GONE has seemed to cause the cat to get my tongue...but hopefully I'll be back sooner rather than later with something clever (or anything at all) to say! :)